so last night, i posted in one of my usual e-trans haunts to ask a few questions. boy, was that problematic. every time i am put through a round of "do i pass" i get the same responses, even if i specifically ask that they be avoided. yes, i KNOW my glasses are round and therefore feminine. yes, i KNOW that my eyebrows are naturally thin. yes, i KNOW that my "sideburns" are not square. and in the past i have given valiant effort to changing these things: sept. '08 as opposed to today.

and you know what i've realized?

NONE OF IT HAS HELPED! nothing! not one iota of difference! I AM STILL REFERRED TO AS "THE LADY" AT WORK!

why? well, you tell me. when you look at a person, do you think to yourself, "oh, he's....wait. pointed sideburns, that's a chick. never mind." do you tell your friends, "i was checking out this guy in the frozen section, and then i saw his eyebrows. they were mad thin, and that's when i realized he was a girl!" no, you fucking don't. you hear a high voice, you see some tits, you notice a smooth throat and flippy hands and dropped shoulders and round hips. i've seen more square fucking lines in haircuts on some butch ass dykes out there and you know what? it didn't help me think she was a man. all the boxy frames in the world are not going to make me look like a boy. MY ACCESSORIES ARE NOT HELPING ME PASS.


my favorite (and by favorite i definitely mean least favorite) thing about transguys is that we're so goddamn concerned with other peoples' perceptions, whether we want to admit it or not. so we analyze everything biomales do to death. we mimic the most masculine person we can find, and convince ourselves that every single detail makes a difference. we try too hard.


it gives me a headache. stick a fork in me, i'm done.